Oxford Adventure

On Saturday we headed down to Oxford with Sandra and two of her daughters, Laura and Emma, both of whom attended Oxford University. If you’ve never been to Oxford, it is well worth the trip if only to see the magnificent 16th and 17th century architecture of the colleges and the adorable attendants who wear black bowler hats and maintain strict order at each college. First we visited Pembroke College where Emma attended and then Jesus College where Laura attended, and explored the interior quads, imposing dining rooms and private cathedrals. Then we entered Christ Church College where the kids saw the famous staircase and dining hall which were used as Hogworts in the Harry Potter films. Needless to say Livvy thought she’d died and gone to heaven and actually knelt on the staircase at the exact spot where Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) stood in order to “feel his presence”. We also visited the gorgeous Christ Church cathedral where organ music was playing from the balcony. Justin wanted to see who was playing but an attendant was standing before the spiral staircase which was barricaded by a red velvet rope denying admittance. Sandra ever so sweetly asked if the attendant might let the children have a peek at the organist and the attendant obliged unable to resist Sandra’s charm. As it turned out a student was playing the organ and invited Justin to “have a go”, which he did, and thankfully the only song on piano Justin knows is Ode to Joy, and so he played a beautiful rendition of this most appropriate selection as the crowd listened intently. Then we visited the most famous library in the world, the Bodleian but please just call it the “Bod” as everyone in-the-know does. Chloe snuck in with Laura’s expired student card and was in book heaven. She was unsuccessful at locating the underground library system but is determined to return and do so.
There was plenty of leftover flour and confetti in the cobblestone streets from the recent “trashing” of the students who when finished their exams walk the streets in their robes while the crowd throw water, flour, confetti and whatever else strikes the crowd’s fancy at the elated and exhausted students.
We walked to the Head of the River pub situated conveniently at the head of the Charwell river, and hired a small motor boat and row boat as we were all too tired to attempt punting on the river ourselves. A punt is an English form of gondola that requires skill and strength to move through the river just like the gondoliers in Venice. Now the motor boat was very similar to the tiny motor boats they have at Disneyworld, so they go about 2 knots and have absolutely no steering capability whatsoever so you are forced to constantly move the wheel back and forth in the hopes of staying somewhat straight. Throwing complete caution to the wind, we allowed Livvy to “drive” the motor boat in which Sandra, Laura and I were seated. Emma was in charge of the row boat and as the former captain of the Pembroke Women’s Rowing team, I felt Justin and Chloe were in good hands so to speak. Soon enough Emma veered off the main river stream and onto a charming and haltingly beautiful smaller stream that passed directly behind Christ Church where we had a perfect view of the impressive college and its marshes as we sailed along peacefully. Suddenly I spied some sediment being kicked up at the rear of the motor boat, and having grown up on cold Canadian lakes, realized instantly that we were too shallow and needed to cut the engine or we’d ding the propeller and be stranded. We cut the engine and soon became aware of two very bad things: 1) we had no oar in the boat; and 2) we were well stuck on a muddy bank in the middle of the stream. Never one to panic, Sandra announced that we needed to all move to the front of the boat to lessen the rear weight so that we could move off the mud bank. When that failed to produce any momentum, she announced that we needed to all move to the rear of the boat to lessen the front weight so that we could move off the mud bank. This produced simailarly invisible results. At this point Sandra ordered Laura off the boat and into the row boat, so Emma rowed over and we precariously pontooned our two vessels and Laura somewhat daintily fled the stranded boat and alighted the row boat. Sandra then commanded Emma to row us off the bank and we tossed Laura the tow rope which she grasped as Emma rowed her heart out to absolutely no avail. Sandra provided Emma with much instruction at this time and Emma turned to her crew which by this time was comprised of Laura, Chloe and Livvy, and said to them quietly but audibly, “We could just leave them and head back you know,” and this put an end to the instructional part of the rescue. At this point, Sandra spotted a kindly old gentleman on the shore who was staring at us, mouth agape, in obvious horror at the scene we were causing in the midst of the otherwise serene surroundings. “Look everyone, this lovely gentleman is wanting to help us,” shouted Sandra in the man’s direction. Three things were patently clear: 1) the lovely gentleman had absolutely no desire nor intent to help us; 2) the lovely gentleman would now have no choice but to help us and pretend he had intended to all along; and 3) Sandra is a cool thinker under pressure and a force to be reckoned with. At Sandra’s bidding, Laura tossed the tow rope back to us and we then tossed the rope to the gentleman who huffed and puffed but could not move us an English inch after several painful tries. Sandra then thanked and dismissed the poor fellow who no doubt headed home in need of nourishment and a shot of whiskey. Emma then returned to our rescue, we tossed Laura the tow rope and by brute force and determination, Emma freed us from the mud bank in true heroic fashion. Of course, Laura became convinced that her rope holding ability had somehow made the difference and a small but entertaining sibling skirmish ensued but was quickly ended due to our all erupting in laughter. We rowed and drove back to shore and made it to the car just as it began to rain.
I can think of no one I would rather have rescue me than Emma, no one I would rather be stranded on a boat with than Sandra, and no one who had a better time that day than me.