Eilat scuba, snorkel, speed boat, underwater observatory, and American Steakhouse

Yesterday morning we awoke in Eilat and enjoyed breakfast in Bubbes restaurant along with masses of Israeli families with young children who apparently are not expected to sit in chairs nor keep their soccer balls out of the dining room. One woman gave me quite a dirty look when her son’s ball rolled under my legs and I failed to extract it from underneath the table for him. After she had crawled on all fours under my legs for the ball, as I non-plussed, continued to butter my rock hard roll. After emerging on all fours from beneath my table with the ball, she directed her son to play near another table, so I’d say mission accomplished. David and Justin headed for their first scuba dive while the rest of us headed for the massive and appropriately over-chlorinated pool (lots of little not yet potty trained kids). After rinsing off and applying a surface layer of Purel, we met Avi and were off to meet our speed boat captain for a ride on the Red Sea.

We were reunited with our elated scuba divers, and hopped aboard the speed boat. Our captain whizzed by the friendly Israeli naval border patrol vessel whose crew waived at us, kinda different from the behavior of the guards at Buckingham Palace. We saw the King of Jordan’s beach front palace from the water, and although the King is hoarding the best beach front property for himself, I have to say it’s a pretty modest palace by Cote d’Azur standards. The blue and green colors of the sea were magnificent and it was hard to believe that we were within 5 miles of the Jordanian, Egyptian and Saudi borders. We had a great snorkel on the reef and made it back to the hotel in time for gelato and another swim before dinner.

This morning David and Justin left early for Scuba Part Deux. Today they were not messing around and rented the professional underwater camera so we had high hopes about their picture taking and were not disappointed, see pics all taken by Justin Cousteau. After more swimming in the high urine content pools at the hotel we showered, disinfected and left with Avi (whose wardrobe does not seem to change in spite of the 106 degree heat but is always fresh and scented with fabric softener) to the underwater animal observatory. To get a sense of the observatory, conjure up an image of a kind of Sea World wannabe for the developing world. The mascots are papier mache creations worthy of a talented Kindergarten class, the snack bar serves greasy kofta and hummus only a local would dare try, and the aquarium though slightly larger than our pool at home, has duct tape affixed to the corners of its glass windows which are leaking in several spots.

There is also a cold war era-looking cement lighthouse that submerges into the water around the coral reef, so you can climb down and claw your way between Israeli’s hogging the view to look out the scratched and finger-smudged windows and catch a glimpse of the animals at the reef. I saw a puffer fish which was cool and well worth the B.O. stench beneath. Chloe and I wisely avoided the observatory food and had lunch near the hotel at a falafel stand on the beach where we ate our food in the scorching heat surrounding by ferile cats, charming.

Dinner was at the Ranch House American Steak House, clearly named by someone who has yet to actually set foot in America. Suffice it to say that absolutely nothing at the restaurant was the least bit American. To wit, I have never had sesame seeds and sesame oil on a baked potato in any of the 50 states, nor have I had onion loaf with tehina and olives, but let’s not split hairs as the portions were rather enormous and the meat very fatty. Tomorrow we leave for Tel Aviv and the sub-100 degree weather.