So
So long Egypt, hello Canyon Ranch, Arizona. Flew into Tucson yesterday and enjoyed the drive from the airport to the spa where I saw that the Grease Monkey Garage is offering an "oil change stimulus package", not sure what is being stimulated although next door was a large sign advertising the Tucson Vasectomy Reversal Clinic. (good to know about in a pinch)
I arrived at the "Ranch" which is what all the in-crowd call the place. By the in-crowd please picture 40-something New York women with busy lives and big bling in search of intense spiritual well being during their 5-7 night stay. Now the Ranch is a true well being sanctuary, no alcohol, no smoking, no diet soda, no salt etc. but absolutely every kind of mind body treatment invented and dozens of healers to help me along on my quest for inner peace and the ability to squeeze into my size 4 pants again. At the Ranch you work out, you drink iced wildberry all natural caffeine free infusions, you do yoga and mediation, you measure your body composition and your shakra energy and of course you enjoy the myriad of massages and other delights at the spa. You also spend a fair amount of time hungry.
This being my second stay at the Ranch I didn't want to be confused for a newbie who may not realize for instance that your black canvas Ranch bag is the accessory de rigeur that you carry everywhere or that the quickest way to the Clubhouse from the Health and Healing Center in to take a shortcut through the spa building. So naturally I informed the smiling woman at reception named Heather that I was so happy to be back at the Ranch and that I would be joined that evening by my girlfriend who had never visited before. She immediately changed her posture into a more familial and warm stance, I was no wet-behind-the-ears first timer who would need to be told how to procure and smuggle Chardonnay onto the property from the Wallgreens down the hill nor how salt is available upon request at all the restaurants. We discussed the availability of a town car to take me for a wine run in between treatments and were fast friends.
I admired the new black and white photos of wild baby animals behind Reception and commented on how cute the pot bellied pig was. Heather smiled with pleasure and let me know that many guests confuse it with a Javalina (local wild pigs) but that indeed it is a pot bellied pig. "Really," I replied incredulously, "probably the same people who try to pet the Javalina's at the Ranch", we both had a good chuckle over that retort. I expressed mild displeasure at the location of my room as it is so very far away from the spa, and Heather agreed and told me "not to worry, I'm sure we can do something about that for you Lorna." We were on a first name basis which is always a very good thing at reception I find. Sure enough, Heather upgraded me to a Cassita which is a villa with a separate bedroom and sitting area and a full extra bathroom located right across from the spa. It also has a microwave for popcorn making, the Orville Redenbacher which you buy at Walgreens too of course. "Here you go Lorna, this should be much better for you and the upgrade is free of charge." I thanked Heather warmly and accepted my new Canyon Ranch t-shirt and black canvas bag, and made off for my Cassita.
After unpacking all my Lululemon gear, I pulled on some yoga pants and headed for the spa to enjoy some Yamuna Foot Fitness, which is like a torture class using a circular plastic ball covered in spiky porcupine-like knobs. You stand and do various exercise with your bare feet on the Yamuna ball in order to stretch the fascia in your feet and toes to promote circulation and better flexibility and posture. 20 minutes is absolute agony but by the time it is over you do feel like your feet are lighter and more balanced. In class I made friends with two older women from Michigan, Anita and Janet. Anita is recovering from ovarian cancer and loves to chat while Janet has an obsession with the NBC show 30 Rock and is convinced that several of the stars are at the Ranch this week; something I highly doubt and have yet to have an actual celeb sighting.
After a lunch of unsalted chicken broth and gluten free noodles with a side of hummus and rice crackers (so not kidding) I headed to the Medical Wellbeing Pavillion to meet with my Ranch doctor and have a Women's Health Assessment. Dr. D was wonderful and is not entirely convinced that I am suffering from peri-menopausal symptoms you'll be glad to hear, but thinks I am likely suffering from allergies so has put me on a gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free detox. Size 4 here I come!! Then it was back to the spa for Yin Yoga and my Jin Shin Jyutsu treatment.
At 8pm my dear friend Hilary arrived and after introducing her to her black canvas Ranch tote and explaining its importance to her, we were off for a dinner of tofu steak and sauteed kale. After dinner we hopped in the waiting town car and picked up our wine as well as our salty and sweet treats although on my detox Hilary may be enjoying them solo and returned to our Cassita, where I found a dozen beautiful yellow roses from my amazing hubby David. David has been here before and initally tried to send us wine but could not so opted for flowers, how romantic!!
Tomorrow we enjoy a 6:30am bike ride and lots more flax seed.
No comments:
Post a Comment