This morning we awoke at 6:30am and dressed in multiple layers to prepare for the bitter cold of the desert hike we were to embark upon. After a quick slice of gluten-free toast with natural peanut butter and apricot preserves (a change from blueberry just to spice things up), we met up with Deedee and Dusty our hiking guides, and the other 6 hikers. In an effort to travel with just carry-on luggage on this trip to the Ranch, I purposely left my hiking boots at home, and as I took a quick look at the footwear of my fellow hikers, felt immediately embarrassed. My white Asics stood out like a bright, sore thumb, while the others in their Merrill-boot-clad feet looked at me with a mix of pity and disdain. I felt like shouting out, “I have hiking boots and hiking shoes too but they are at home because I had a tight plane connection in Phoenix, really I am one of you!” But those words would not leave my lips, instead I stood silently in my sneakers, ashamed and looking every bit the novice. Thank god I was at least wearing my North Face fleece and wind shell.
We picked up our hiking packs and loaded up into the Ranch van for the 25 minute ride to the trail head. My sneakered feet carried me to the very back of the van where I belonged. It would be a 6.3 mi hike up the mountains, across the wash and into the canyon, beautiful. I examined the contents of my pack and found the snack bag brimming with apricot oat bars, pumpkin crunch and hard boiled eggs, which buoyed my spirits. Deedee asked if anyone wanted hiking sticks and several people raised their hands. I, however, posed a question, “Will there be any loose rock on steep pitches?” Deedee answered, “Oh yes, there will be on this hike but mostly on the descent.” “In that case,” I continued, “I’d like one stick please.” The mood in the van shifted ever so subtly, the woman with the sneakers may know a thing or two yet.
Dusty headed up the group with a remarkably fit grandmother behind him, followed by me. After the first steep pitch I passed grandma and was tightly following Dusty who was blazing the trail at a very respectable clip uphill. I could feel the eyes of the group upon my wind shell covered back as they no doubt watched Dusty and I disappear into the distance, sneakers and all. After finishing the hike and removing multiple cactus thorns from Stephanie's fingers, we returned to the van and this time I rode in the front of the van all the way back to the Ranch.
Then it was lunch time, a giant salad and low fat corn tamales. I am quite prepared to pay $50 for a diet soda at this time but payote is easier to find than carcinogenic beverages at this establishment. After lunch we hit the Ranch Store where uplifting spiritual messages are prevalent on everything from t-shirts to wishing stones. My personal faves are the "Be The Change" tote bag and the "Live With Passion" baseball cap in a lovely shade of orange. We then attended a wonderful lecture by Catherine Kenney Yunt, a self declared Clairvoyant and intuitive. Her hand out states very clearly, "Catherine's intuitive abilities have been documented through research conducted by Gary E. Schwartz, Ph.D director of Laboratory for Advnaces in Consciousness and Health at the University of Arizona. Her efficacy as a medium, precognitive dreamer, medical intuitive and energy healing practitioner has been tested over the past eight years." So there.
According to Catherine Kenney Yunt, M.C. (I think the M.C. stands for Master Clairvoyant) we all are intuitive and can help law enforcement find missing children if we just practice. So I have a long reading list and a few intuitive exercises to follow up on, please stay tuned, and if you sense my aura or presence in your dreams do let me know.
Next it was time for a light gluten-free snack and change into my Lodge attire, Lululemon yoga shorts and top, as our Spiritual Guide, Lisa, had very clearly instructed us to dress lightly as we would be completely drenched when we exit the sweat Lodge. She also advised us to bring a snack for afterward as we will be hungry. Seeing as I am constantly famished here, I am bringing 2 low fat turkey wraps hold the cheese, a banana, 2 low cal mini spelt chocolate chip cookies and an orange.
I met up with Lisa and my fellow Spirit Lodge guests at the Life Enhancement Center and took a short full moon lit walk up the path to the Lodge where we met Eric the "fire keeper". In front of me stood a roaring wood bonfire with numerous large stones ablaze within. Next to the fire was a sad looking flat roofed teepee-type structure covered in blankets, presumably to keep out all light. We sat in a circle and then beginning with Lisa we were each given the talking stick and encouraged to introduce ourselves by saying our names and those of our ancestors as well as whatever tidbits we cared to share about our heritage and spiritual journey in this lifetime. For most of the 7 guests present, including myself, our ancestors seemed to all be of Polish, Russian, French or German heritage (heavily Jewish crowd)and their actual names only stretched back with any precision to grandparents, with the notable exception of the lone Italian-American in the group who could apparently trace her lineage all the way back to the Roman Empire. There we were 7 guests in total comprised of: myself; Susan #1 (a 50 year old woman who seemed like a mix between Bette Middler and Terri Garr who was espousing the virtues of her dog Summer who is "a beautiful creature", ); Susan #2 (the aforementioned 53 year old engineer looking for a career change); Sondee and Steve (London, Ontario couple in their early 40s with 4 children and a sweet Canadian earnestness about them); Andrew (a 48 year old non-profit worker in search of deeper meaning in life); and finally one minor celebrity guest, Linda Fiorentino, who you may recall from her role as Bethany in the film Dogma or her role in Men in Black. (see pic) She was lovely as you will find out a bit later in this post. We then shared once more what our gift was that we were bringing into the Lodge, and while I brought Curiosity (I truly had no idea what to expect other than a good shvitz) and Lisa brought Unconditional Love, Linda brought Strength, which would come in handy.
Susan #2, told me she was a bit afraid of the experience and I assured her it was going to be just great and not to worry about it. Lisa gave us the line up for entering the Lodge, and so into the modified teepee we went, carefully avoiding the fire pit in the center and sat down cross legged on the blanket covered earth. Eric began bringing in the "honor stones" which were so hot that the moment he deposited them in the fire pit, the Lodge began to steam up. I was seated between Linda and Sondee, who had clearly dragged her dutiful husband Steve along with her on this evening's experience. We were all knee to knee in the Lodge as Eric placed the last scorching stone into the fire pit and Lisa told us that once the flaps were lowered we would be in complete darkness. She also mentioned that should we need assistance we could call out her name or "All our people," which I guessed was some higher order of 911 aimed at our ancestors. Lisa then instructed Eric to lower the teepee flap down and the instant we were enveloped in total darkness with the smell of sage burning on the fiery stones, I began to have my first ever panic attack.
Never having experienced a panic attack before I wasn't altogether sure what was happening other than a severe tightening in my chest accompanied by an uncontrollable urge to run leaping from the pitch black teepee across the fiery stones and out into the cold night air. As Lisa began to chant a Lakota welcome song I called out her name meekly. "Already?" she replied jokingly, assuming this was some mundane question or clarification. "I am feeling quite panicked," I called out desperately trying to modulate my voice. My fellow guests groaned in unison. Instantly, Linda and Sondee reached out to each hold one of my hands and Sondee called out, "My God you're freezing," which was somewhat surprising given the sweltering heat inside the Lodge thanks to the piles of fiery stones in the center. Lisa encouraged me to rock back and forth, breathe deeply and hum. I did all three immediately but thanks to the absolute darkness no one could see my spastic gyrations although no doubt they could hear my heavy breathing and trembling, tentative hums. Lisa continued with her welcome song and two songs later I seemed to have calmed down enough to loosen my vice-like grip on Linda's now lifeless hand. I kept Sondee's tight though and she didn't seem to mind, God Bless Canada. As Linda released her hand from my claw like grasp altogether, she leaned in and thanked me saying, "I was expecting me to be the one to freak out, thanks."
The next song Lisa began to chant was eerily familiar, but I had never studied Sioux, Lakota or Cherokee tradition, and could not pinpoint where I had learned this song. Soon I found myself singing, loudly and knowing all the words, it was only when we reached the chorus that I realized I was singing a Hebrew song from childhood called Heeneh Matov Oooo Manayim. Whether you are Hebrew or non-Hebrew speaking, you can hopefully see how this might sound Native, particularly in a 170 degree steam filled pitch black tent on a full moon night.
Lisa called Eric the fire keeper over and the tent flap was raised, allowing in fresh air and precious moonlight. I had survived! Lisa asked how I was doing and a mustered a weak but positive response, joking that apparently the actual gift I brought into the Lodge was "Panic", which got a decent chuckle from the crowd. No doubt they were relieved I had stopped whimpering. Lisa explained that in the next "Round", Round being the technical term for each enclosed 20 minute session in the Lodge, we would be encouraged to shout and call out, and that the louder we did so the sooner the flap would be opened. I immediately began to scream at the top of my lungs, which caused my compatriots to laugh semi-hysterically, and Lisa to tell me that humor was an excellent and welcome force in the Lodge. Thank All Our People.
2 hours of deep sweating, chanting, and ancestor calling later, the Lodge came to an end with a final cry out to All Our People. We formed a line as we exited the Lodge in reverse order to how we had entered, greeting the person before us as we emerged and then welcoming all those who followed, sort of like a sweaty receiving line at a wedding. And then I made my way to a quiet spot in the Spa building where I sat down to devour my turkey wraps and spelt cookies and reflect upon my experience at the Lodge.
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