We awoke to another sunny day on Paradise Island and headed over to the Dolphin Cay at 10am to check in for our “Trainer For A Day” program. Our trainer introduced herself as “T” which is short for Tazia, and she had a gentle manner with the kids as well as a snappy sense of humor, which came in handy throughout the day. We were grouped with 4 other guests, a 10-year old boy named Juan, two 13-year old best friends from Virginia Beach named Zoe and Lexi, and a pure caricature of a woman from Mississippi named Bobby Jo with a deep drawl and an infinite desire to speak incessantly and at inappropriately high volume. In short, Bobby Jo is the reason Jamie Oliver has begun a revolution.
We learned more about Bobby Jo during our 6 hour trainer program than anyone could reasonably want to imagine. For example the story of how she acquired her name, which incidentally was offered without anyone actually asking about it, “Da-yew-Dee’s nay-em is Raw-Bert, Momma’s JoDene, and Da-yew-Dee always wahn-ned a boyee, so they done called me Bob-eh Jo). I got the low down on the various buffets offered aboard Bobby Jo’s Disney Cruise as well which dessert items she feels are truly world class, or as Bobby Jo puts it, “speck-tack-alar like, gawed’s honest truth I tell ya’”.
While Bobby Jo’s incessant questions, piercing loud voice, excruciating donkey like laughter, nauseating soliloquies, persistent threats of fainting when in the fish prep room and sea lion encounter, as well as her spine chilling squeals of terror, had been more than enough to turn the kids viciously against her, it was only while she was receiving a complimentary dolphin foot push across the pool courtesy of Elijah (the incredibly strong dolphin who managed to propel Bobby Jo’s oversized body mass some 75 feet before falling away, exhausted into the water), that I began resenting the duty I had endured all day, namely zipping and unzipping her enormous wet suit over her back folds. I momentarily fantasized about the dolphins attacking her, a la Sea World Orlando but quickly reminded myself after some cleansing breaths that anyone who speaks that loudly and that much, must lead a life wherein she feels she is not listened to, and the least I could do was tolerate her with a modicum of grace. Namaste.
As we walked back to our hotel after the Trainer Day had ended, the kids insisted I repeatedly impersonate Bobby Jo, especially her cackle, until our cheeks all hurt from laughing and Justin got the hiccups. What a great day!
Dinner tonight was very much enjoyed at Nobu (thank you Tiffany) where the Rock Shrimp were pure perfection and the kids professed their miso soup to be every bit as good as our local Japanese fave in historic downtown Los Gatos. The line for Ben&Jerry’s in the Marina Village was epic and so the kids opted for some vanilla bean frappacinos at Starbucks instead accompanied by Justin’s recommendation of going halfsies on the Classic Coffee Cake and Plain Glazed Crueler. The taste test unanimously revealed that the Crueler was the superior dessert pastry product, in case you ever need to choose.
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